Day 131

I wrote to the creative director today to let her know that next week will be my last week, as I am about to embark on a couple of "who the ef do I think I am?" adventures. I told her it was great working there and if she needed a freelancer come October, to let me know. She wrote back asking if by October I'd be interested in working there permanently. Ugghhh, if I say no, does that mean you won't let me freelance later?

Cons

• The job doesn't really challenge me.
  
• I am in no way making a positive impact on anyone's life. Not one bit.
  
• It is not in another country.
  
• It's 9-5.
  
• I am afraid of getting complacent and losing momentum and enthusiasm for all of my other projects that I've begun.

Pros

• I like the people. I know, weird right?
• It's 9-5...unlike my previous jobs in advertising that required sleepless nights and "if you're not coming in on Saturday, don't bother coming in on Sunday."
  
• It's easy. Which means I leave with enough energy to entertain all my side projects.
  
• I threw out a number way higher than what I think I deserve for doing a job so easy.
• Health insurance!
• 401K!
• If I don't take this job, I'll only have until December/January until my Cobra goes up to $500+. If I don't manage to convince the winemaker in Tuscany to hire me by then (or find something equally as awesome) I'll have to start selling drugs to make extra money and I really don't want to have to wear a belt everywhere I go to hold all my beepers. 

I am in no way complaining about getting a job offer. I just don't want to go backwards. The past 4 months have been the best, most enlightening and invigorating 4 months of my life. I want to make the absolute most out of it. And I won't be satisfied until I'm doing something that affects other people somehow. If I have to take this job while I continue to find out what that "something" is, that's fine. I just don't want to get complacent or trapped. I never want to feel the way I did before I got laid off. At this point, I think it's safe to say that will never happen again. (I hope.)