Day 324

It's review time at work. After sitting in an hour-long meeting about how to fill out my personal assessment and listening to some she-man wave her arms around as to engage us worker-bees while throwing out words like "the organization" and "talent-driven company" like they were going out of style...I returned to my desk to search for the email from HR that I am to fill out by Friday.

It's asking for my goals.

1. Get better at faking my enthusiasm for my role in the company's growth.

2. Do not tell the person who invites me to meetings that are irrelevant to me that I don't like meetings when he asks why I look so unenthused. Well, don't do it again at least.

3. Bring more projects to work so I don't snack on the free popcorn and m&ms at 3pm when I've been to the end of the world wide web and back and need something to get me to 4:59pm.

4. Do not start sentences with "I hate".

5. Do NOT, under any circumstances, be working here by the time next review season rolls around and it's time to re-evaluate my goals.