Day 141

I'm at work, not working. How can I! I have an Italian on the way. And two weeks of city hopping ahead of me.

Day 140

Packing!

Day 139

Julia Child’s first lunch in France centered on Dover sole sputtering in butter sauce. It was, she wrote in her memoir, “the most exciting meal of my life.” (NEW YORK TIMES)

God I hope I'm one of those people who has epiphanies. In Paris. Or anywhere, really. The porto-potty. I just want one. Since I wasn't one of those lucky bastards who knew they want to be a doctor at age 4, it's only fair I have an epiphany. 

Which means eff the comfort zone. Less thinking, more doing. Thinking ruins everything. Thinking never got me very far.

Day 138

Booked overnight train from Bern to Florence. Found hotels in Bern. Found hotels in Florence. Waiting for a vote. (Bear, Reno...where you at?) I can taste the fondue from Gruyere and the tomatoes from Italy already. Seriously. Trip planning makes me SO hungry! 

Only 3 more days until my Italian arrives. So much to do!!!

His response when I asked him what he wanted me to make him for dinner when he arrives:

I DON’T KNOW WHAT’S THE TIPYCAL FOOD IN USA, AND IF YOU COOK LIKE YOU MAKE “CAPPUCCINO” I PREFER TO DON’T HAVE DINNER!!!!

His email to me this morning after email arguing over route/who has to cook for who/music/etc etc:

I am making my baggages, what do you think i must to bring with me? the patience and what else??

Oh boy........... :)

Day 137

Going in slow motion today. I'll pay for this later.

Day 136

Rearrange apartment. Check.

Clean bathroom. Uggghhh check.

Wash a LOT of dishes. Check. 

Start packing for the weekend. Check.

Book convertible in San diego for Coast to Coast road trip turned West Coast road trip. Check.

Try chili pepper dried mangoes. Check.

Get heartburn. Check.

Get confused about trains in Europe. Check.

Get excited all over again. CHECK!

Day 135

My to do list got bigger today. Instead of smaller. Muther.

Day 134

I got a Flip Camera and I'm officially obsessed. 

Day 133

Trying to plan the all-American road trip and the all-Stephanie Europe trip. At the same time. Without making a thousand mistakes. The word non-refundable is SO SCARY! 

Day 132

Today I had to call Niccolo so we could discuss my visit to Tuscany. That might have been the best 11 minutes of my life. 

"Just come to the castle early and bring clothes to change into later for the party."

Day 131

I wrote to the creative director today to let her know that next week will be my last week, as I am about to embark on a couple of "who the ef do I think I am?" adventures. I told her it was great working there and if she needed a freelancer come October, to let me know. She wrote back asking if by October I'd be interested in working there permanently. Ugghhh, if I say no, does that mean you won't let me freelance later?

Cons

• The job doesn't really challenge me.
  
• I am in no way making a positive impact on anyone's life. Not one bit.
  
• It is not in another country.
  
• It's 9-5.
  
• I am afraid of getting complacent and losing momentum and enthusiasm for all of my other projects that I've begun.

Pros

• I like the people. I know, weird right?
• It's 9-5...unlike my previous jobs in advertising that required sleepless nights and "if you're not coming in on Saturday, don't bother coming in on Sunday."
  
• It's easy. Which means I leave with enough energy to entertain all my side projects.
  
• I threw out a number way higher than what I think I deserve for doing a job so easy.
• Health insurance!
• 401K!
• If I don't take this job, I'll only have until December/January until my Cobra goes up to $500+. If I don't manage to convince the winemaker in Tuscany to hire me by then (or find something equally as awesome) I'll have to start selling drugs to make extra money and I really don't want to have to wear a belt everywhere I go to hold all my beepers. 

I am in no way complaining about getting a job offer. I just don't want to go backwards. The past 4 months have been the best, most enlightening and invigorating 4 months of my life. I want to make the absolute most out of it. And I won't be satisfied until I'm doing something that affects other people somehow. If I have to take this job while I continue to find out what that "something" is, that's fine. I just don't want to get complacent or trapped. I never want to feel the way I did before I got laid off. At this point, I think it's safe to say that will never happen again. (I hope.)

Day 130

Watched Michael J. Fox's special on optimism. I dare you to watch it and not cry. And not think "why am I such a fucking baby sometimes?" He said some things that I already knew but it was nice to hear them again. 

Happiness is about connecting with people. 

His message reminded me of an article I read about a 70-year long Harvard study on happiness, in which the ultimate finding was: The only thing that matters in life is our relationships with others.

      

During the next 2 months, I plan on doing a lot of connecting.

Day 129

Putting together a shiny new resume and note for an ad agency that doesn't try to ruin people's lives. They're not exactly hiring and I'm not exactly looking for a full-time job just yet but I just have to write to this place. It was started by a guy who ran and owned companies until hit by a falling tree in the head and spine. After awaking from a long coma, and finding himself in a wheelchair and in need of meaning, he founded this company and set out to help great causes with their branding and communications. Sounds good to me. 

Day 128

It's official. Two weeks after I get back from Road Trip Americano, I leave for Vivir Bien '09. 

//Geneva

//Gruyere

//Florence (for a harvest party IN Tuscany IN a castle WITH the dreamboat that came into the wine shop)

//Provence 

//Barcelona

//Madrid

//Paris

23 days, 22 nights of la belle vie. And once again, I have the recession to thank. And all my new jobs. And all of the people I've met because of them.

Day 127

So my favorite Italian has always dreamt of taking a road trip across America. So he's coming to America. And I'm riding shotgun. For two weeks. Mmmhmmmm.

I must have been VERY good in my past lives.

Day 126

If I believed in ironing, I would sooooooooo get this!

If I ever decide to not elope, I would want my wedding to look like this:

With the strands of little lights. And dancing Mexicans!

Day 125

Cleaning, EVERYTHING.

Day 124

I like.

I like.

I like.

I like.

I love.

Day 123

4  months + 1 day ago, I felt like nothing in my life was ever going to change. Now it seems to change everyday. 

Day 122

 I love my Sunday mornings on the patio at the cafe when the sun is out and when I'm reading a good book about another place. I love love love love love it. I want to do it all over again. 

Day 121

Researching some thingssss...I hope not for nothing.

Day 120

Over-employed. And if feels so good. 

Day 119

I can't sit still. I am too excited. About too many things. 

Day 118

 Vivir Bien '09. Coming soon. 

Day 117

Designing a postcard campaign for the wine place. Then I'm that much closer to getting back to my own projects, I SWEAR!

Day 116

The perfect weather and the 9-5 will not be the death of my side projects and plan Bs. I need some discipline. I'm super good at starting things. Super bad at following through. I don't care if anything comes out of my little endeavors, I just want to finish something I start dammit! I need a personal project manager. I need someone to force me to set aside two hours a day strictly for writing (and scheming). I need to read more and watch more and research more and I need to do it faster. I KNOW what I need to do, I just need to do it. Maybe tomorrow. 

Day 115

The only thing I know is that I don't know nuthin.

And I have to work tomorrow! WHAT?!

Day 114

Doing my most favorite thing ever. Preparing a picnic. I mean being American.

Day 113

Grocery Shopppp. Wine Shoppppp. Feast at Cuchi Cuchi.

Day 112

I 9-5'd all week and I have to admit, I didn't hate it as much as I anticipated. The job could suck easily but the people there are great. And morale is too (from what I can tell). So it doesn't. They asked if I was interested in permanent employment. Yeah, not really. Freelance? Yes, definitely. So I'll be back for more next week. 

Day 111

Three days in and my new co-workers already know that I'm an a-hole with no filter. I think that's a record!