Day 291

"And in the end it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years."
Abraham Lincoln

Day 290

Just picked my childhood best friend up from the airport. She will be gracing Boston with her presence for a week! I've seen her only once in the past 11 years since I moved from San Diego but it feels like we've seen each other every day since. She's amazing! And I think my last single girlfriend. My job for the next 6 days is to convince her to move here. And quit lawyering. And move to Italy with me!

Day 289

Sat next to a girl on the plane today, on my way back to Boston. Think Miley Cirus in a few years, in her first year of law school.

She asked me if I'm in school but I explained that I'm semi-retired and dipping my feet into various...uh...things. WHOA THAT'S SO COOL she exclaimed in a deep raspy excited voice only Billy Ray could appreciate. When I asked her what she did, she told me she's in her first year of law school but it's not going as she planned and she's not sure if that's the career for her.

The expert career changer I've become, I told her that having a law degree doesn't mean you have to practice law. And once she's done, if she gives it a whirl and hates it, then she can just try something new. She said, yeah, you're right. But that would be a waste of time and money. 

Is it?? I kind of disagree. Pursuing one interest can lead to other interests that you didn't know you had. And it could make you more appealing to prospects in a way you hadn't imagined. The wine shop I work at wasn't hiring and I know ZERO anything about wine but she thought my advertising/writing background could be an asset to the store so she hired me. 

So I told Miley not to worry about law being right, but to just keep an open mind about how to use what she learned. 

Then she said, well I do want to make a lot of money, but I'm a babysitter right now and I baby-sit for all these super rich moms that don't work, and don't really watch their kids, because I do that part, and then I think now THAT is awesome. Sometimes I just want to marry someone really rich and be a housewife. But you can't really plan that. It just has to happen. So for now I guess I'll just finish law school.

Day 288

Took my mom, sister and godmutha out to see It's Complicated. Now I want to take a pastry class in Paris and learn how to make chocolate croissants and croque monsieur and MACAROONS!

RENO!!! Let's go! And film the pilot for our cooking around the world show!

Tamales in Cuernavaca

Pasta in Tuscany

Pastries in Paris

Paella in Madrid

Cousous in Morocco

Pierogis in Poland

Etc

Etc

Etc

 

Day 288

Slumber party with the triplets!

Day 287

'Twas the night after Christmas...and my best friend's bachelorette party. Out of 10 women, I was the only one single, and one of the only ones sans kids. But you wouldn't know it by the way they were swinging from the poles, dry humping the ceiling of the party bus, motorboating eachother's boobs, and grinding on unsuspecting club-goers. 

Day 286

Food. Coma. 

Day 285

Played Monopoly until 6 in the morning.

Day 284

Today while helping my grandma prepare for Christmas, she told me she hopes the economy gets better here so I can find a good job at home and come back. I said, Nana, I don't ever want to move back to Michigan, to matter how great the economy is. She said, "I know I know, you just want to see everything. I hope you find a husband who will take you to a new place everyday." Yeah, me too lady!

Day 283

Hmmmmm where am I going to go with my FOURHUNDREDANDTWENTYFIVEDOLLARVOUCHER from US Airways (for volunteering to leave on a later flight)! I spent all afternoon daydreaming at the Philadelphia airport about my next holiday...when I wasn't filming the all the misfits at my gate with my Flip. Holy stuck in 1989. I've never seen so many nylon track suites in my life. 

Day 282

In a nutshell...

Day 281

Cleaning.
Packing.
Organizing.
Watching the snow fall.
Watching bad movies.
Thinking about the people I love.
Thinking about the new year.

Day 280

Just noticed a post on facebook from a guy I went to elementary school with and it read: just increased the house payment for next year; 19 more years and she's all mine.

I made a face when I read that then realized I was making a face THEN realized I have a little too much in common with G. Clooney in Up in the Air. (Sans the not loving people part. I love me some people…most of the time.)

It’s not that I think buying a house is wrong, it’s what you’re “supposed to do”. I like the idea of making memories in a place and having neighbors and a garden and a tree that you watch grow bigger every year. But shoot, when I saw that facebook update, I can’t help thinking it sounds like jail! I can’t imagine staying in one place for 20 years. It’s one thing to end up someplace for 20 years but k n o w i n g exactly what you're going to be doing for the next 20 years scares the bejesus out of me. Does this mean I’m not a grown up? I am 27 and have absolutely zero desire to commit to anything. I didn’t even like signing a 3-year lease for my car. I have trouble committing to plans for the weekend! A menu with too many options, forgettaboutit.

C’est la vie.

Day 279

 Are you nuts?

Day 279

Today one of my old bosses passed away. He was a machine. Intense. The man came to work on the Saturday his sister passed away to work on a new business pitch. I don’t know too much about his life besides that he was a former attorney/litigator and he ran marathons almost every year. I do know he was warmer than he appeared and kinder than most people realized. And I’m thankful to have gotten to see that side of him.

When I first started working at that agency, my first real job after school, I was a bit intimidated by all creative directors and generally anyone with a super long job title. The beauty of entry level and being the bottom of the bottom at a company is you have full access to e v e r y o n e. I had to order their food, collate their photocopies, dial the phone numbers for their calls, wait for them to sign things, bubble wrap their boards for meetings. I did my share of whining about leaving at 3am and 4am and 5am but it was always those nights that I stayed late that I learned the most and had the most fun. At 2 in the morning, people’s true colors start to show. They tell you stories, they talk smack, they complain, they joke, they yell, they laugh. They seem human. And not so scary after all. Three companies later, the intimidation is long gone. My filter---nonexistent. I couldn’t kiss an ass if I tried. I learned you don’t need to to get respect or get ahead. And if I ever do, I’m in the wrong place.

Day 278

Testing Brian's recipes. They good. They real good.

Day 277

Just saw the movie Up In the Air and I'm SO mad! George was brilliant. Not mad at George. But damn Gina, two of the things I knew I wanted for my movie (ok ok my word document on my desktop titled: movie) happened in the first 5 seconds of the film!

Bookmarked this student portfolio over the summer when I first got the idea for the film because I LOVED this title sequence and thought it was perfect for my concept. Now it is the exact treatment used in Up. Then, THEN, to make matters worse, guess what song serenaded the sliding images!!! Oh, just a funky remix of This Land Is Your Land, This Land Is My Land. Did I not JUST say a funky remix of that song must be in my movie. Did they not read my mind before editing that film??? And consider that someday I might need those???

There were no foreigners in the movie. Thank GOD.

Day 276

I want things that are bad for me. 

Day 275

Fondue Party!

Day 274

Today I got a Christmas card in the mail. First, I LOVE getting mail. I really do. I'm beside myself with excitement whenever I see my name printed in handwriting. But I'm not gonna lie, the Christmas card sucked! A generic message signed by (it's a secret). No extra message or update or pictures. It just seemed so impersonal and expected.

I don't blame (it's a secret) for his/her holiday greeting. There's a reason I don't send out Christmas cards, I never find any that I like! Pickings are slim.

So now I have another mission. Next year I'm making my own Christmas cards. And they aren't going to be some Martha Stewart garbage either. They're going to be cool. Be excited.

Day 273

My old student, the anthropologist, wrote today asking me to correct her application letters for a teaching position at one of the universities here in Boston. She is desperately trying to find a job here where her husband, a Brazilian diplomat, is stationed. She has lived in Brazil, Mexico, France, Algeria and now the US. Speaks Portuguese, Spanish, French and is hard on herself for not speaking perfect English after being in America for a year.

Every 3-5 years, her husband relocates to a new country. Each time, she has to learn a new language, acclimate their 3 children to their new environment, then try to find work in the field in which she earned a PhD. By the time she does, they are on their way to the next country and she starts from scratch. Again.

You know me, I hear her story and get stars in my eyes, thinking only about the romantic side of it. Every few years a new country and a new life. New interesting people, new homes, new friends, new experiences. Kids fluent in 4 languages. A long resume including stints in UNESCO, guest lecturing and volunteer work in various poverty stricken communities. A 20-year marriage with man she considers to be her best friend and who shares her passion for travel and improving the lives of others.

But she’s made it clear to me over many coffees that it’s not as glamorous as it all sounds. She got married at 20 and at 40, she feels like she’s lived her whole life for her husband and children, putting a career she is so passionate about on hold to accommodate them and their needs. She has no regrets but at the same time is ready to live for herself. Even if that means divorcing her husband and best friend in the whole world. Her biggest complaint against him: He has become more of a roommate than a romantic partner. (Join the club lady, you sound like 95% of the married woman I know!)

While I felt sad after hearing all this, my visions of this perfect power couple with whirlwind globetrotting lives—shattered, I was reminded once again…no matter what your nationality or culture or religion, or how different our lives may seem, we’re all just people. And when it comes down to it, we all have the same problems and fears and hopes and anxieties.

I think I just accidentally wrote one of the the character descriptions for my movie. Who needs fiction when real life is so interesting!

Day 272

Hi Everyone:

I would like to take a small group to lunch on Thursday to brainstorm some miscellaneous topics regarding our biz – if interested please be one of first six to respond.

Thanks,
[From our CEO]

I'd rather have my wisdom teeth out again. A mouth full of blood would be easier to swallow than your koolaid pal. After not responding at all to this email, I had the pleasure of going to the elevator at the exact same time the chosen 6 and our CEO embarked on their super special lunch date. In fact, even after I said, go ahead, I'll catch the next one, they were nice enough to insist I join them in the already cramped elevator. In the very middle. That was the longest 25 seconds of my life.

Day 271

After wasting 9 solid hours of my life at my real job, I went to work at the wine shop. I usually only work Friday nights now unless we have a special event. Tonight was our Tuscan Abbondanza. To be honest, I didn't feel like going. My jacket was still wet from the devil rain this morning that killed my very last umbrella and so were my socks. I just wanted to go home. But then I get there and I don't know what it is about being behind a counter and shooting the shizz with strangers and acquaintances, but I live for it. Today was especially great. Usually I leave after the tastings, because I'm a dork and always anxious to get home at the end of a long day, but tonight I stayed. Buzzed off Sangiovese and olives, we all sat around finishing the remaining juice from the night talking marinara recipes and roast beast and rock and roll and other stuff that doesn't matter. And I just had one of those weird moments when you realize you got something you really wanted. How many times did I pass by this wine shop on my way to my "real" job wishing I was going to work there instead. How many times did I see the people inside hanging out, drinking wine in the middle of the day in that tiny Italian hole in the wall and wish I could go inside and play. And now I do. And now those people are my friends and the neighborhood feels a little smaller and more personal and my own. For the first time in my post-college career, I work a place I genuinely care about. I'm down to a few hours a week now but those few hours remind me that that is how work should feel. 

Day 270

Went to a pop-up screening of Lemonade tonight. A documentary about people in the ad industry who get laid off and subsequently pursue things they are passionate about.

When I first saw the trailer a while back, I was a bit skeptical. Think the music had a lot to do with it. Seemed a little heavy on the sob story and there's nothing more annoying than listening to people feel sorry for themselves. It gets to the "makin' lemonade" later, but by then I'm already a bit checked out.

That did not stop me from seeing the film. While I was a few minutes late, I did catch the crux of it and I could relate to just about everything each person featured talked about.

Not looking for a job, looking for something interesting to do. 

Realized when you're doing the right thing, things just fall into place. The perfect person comes along, the perfect opportunity, the perfect solution. (To me, that part is less about luck and more about attitude. It's amazing what happens when you keep an open mind, when you put yourself in situations that bring you a step closer to what you want, when you start meeting new people who enlighten your or help you in ways you never would have imagined).

When you start doing things you love, everyday feels like the weekend. And it's true! Not once did I look at the clock at my other jobs, even though I was working more than 40 hours a week. Now that I have a new job I find myself counting the minutes until 5pm on Friday, just like a robot, just like I used to do and I think it's kind of pathetic. It's not because I don't like to work. I actually really love working. I just think 9-5, mon-fri is an antiquated system that is less about efficiency and more about social acceptance. All I know is, if you told people they could leave when they finished their work, or spend time on their own projects, I guarantee it wouldn't take them 9 hours to get the job done. But where's the incentive to be efficient when you can't leave until 5 anyway?

You don't have to lose your job to do the things you love. You just have to make the time and the effort. Which is hard when you don't have time, but not impossible. You just have to keep taking babysteps. Doing little things that bring you closer to what you want.

Getting laid off was the highlight of their career. I've said the exact same thing. The thing about the ad business is we are in the business of communication. And communication is necessary no matter where you go from there or what you do after. In advertising, we learn how to talk to people, how to create, how to think, how others think. We learn about art and we learn about business. Then we learn how to take all of that and use it to communicate an idea. Which means when we go off to start our own business or launch our own projects, we already have an important set of skills under our belts and resources that we never would have had, had we not worked in advertising. So it's not all a waste.

And the comment I agreed with most of all: Getting laid off from advertising is awesome.

This movie didn't make me look at my situation or experience any differently. I didn't need someone to tell me to pursue my passions, or find them. I didn't need a pep talk. I assume a lot of people don't. At the same time, I assume a lot of people do. And for that, I think it's a fantastic film and endeavor. At a time when unemployment is skyrocketing and people are seeing everything they worked for slide through the cracks, it's nice to be reminded that "it's not a pink slip, it's a blank page".

Anyone who finds a way to do what they love is my hero. Still, the people most inspiring to me are the ones who didn't wait for the pink slip. I want to see a movie about people who quit the jobs that left them unfulfilled or kept their jobs but used every moment of their free time to work on their side projects until they manifested. Those stories strike me (and excite me) the most.

Day 269

Worked on Project Cookbook ALL day. Now if BRIAN would get his bum back in the kitchen, we could have a good thing goin. Maybe. Probably.

Day 268

I want to go back in time. 

Day 267

Gym then books and movies all day. I tried to leave my apartment but two blocks in, the mini blizzard brewing outside ate my umbrella. And my spirit. I turned around. Defeated, sopping wet, all covered in giant snowflakes. At least I tried. 

Day 266

Wow I can't concentrate on anything today. Nothing. Feeling all anxious and antsy and BORED. Browsing the Times. Wishing I was this lady and had her closet and chairs and design sense. 

Day 265

I wonder how long I can get away with doin' NOTHIN' at work. Seriously. It's too good to be true.  Spent a good chunk of the day learning about some wines that I poured at a private tasting this evening. A tasting with a bunch of blue hairs pretending to look at art while shoveling shrimp cocktail in their mouth. The waiter was the most interesting person there. Wish I talked to the waiter more. He seemed cool. And foreign. 

Day 264

My 9-5 is more like a 9:30 to 11, really. On most days. And I like it. A lot. Spent most of my grueling work day on something I don't mind grueling over.  My many escape plans. Imagine how much cooler the world would be if everyone got the chance to spend a few of their peak hours on side projects and personal ambitions. I will take advantage of this while I can. I don't want to waste a minute. I've already wasted too many. 

First draft of "Loglines".

The lives of 8 people from 8 different countries and all walks of life loosely intersect in an English as a Second Language class.

Follow the lives of 8 people from 8 different countries and all walks of life as they settle in America and loosely intersect at an English as a Second Language.

Eight people from different countries and all walks of life have at least one thing in common, they're here to learn English.

  

Day 263

Reading about how to write a screenplay.

This book tells you to start by asking these questions:

What is it?
What's it about?
Who's it for?

Oh. I guess it makes sense to have that all figured out before you begin (unsuccessfully) writing scenes at 3am one night. No wonder I haven't opened that document (that left me so overwhelmed) on my desktop since that night. I don't know what my movie is really about. I mean I have an idea and I know who the characters are but I really don't know what it all means right now. So I will start by answering those questions. And see where it leads.

Next I need to be able to describe the story in one sentence. This sentence must all at once summarize the plot, have irony, elicit a good mental picture, pull you in while promising more, demonstrate a timeline and give you an idea of how big a production it will be.

I spent the better half my work day looking up loglines to movies that share something with the story I hope to tell. (Eventually. Even if it takes me 10 years to spit it out.)

An anthology of 5 different cab drivers in 5 different American and European cities and their remarkable fares on the same eventful night.
Night On Earth

Through the neighborhoods of Paris, love is veiled, revealed, imitated, sucked dry, reinvented and awakened.
Paris, Je T'aime

Three stories are connected by a Memphis hotel and the spirit of Elvis Presley.
Mystery Train

Follow the lives of 8 very different couples in dealing with their love lives in various loosely and interrelated tales all set during a frantic month before Christmas in London, England.
Love Actually

They came from Paris, Rome, London and Berlin to l'Auberge Espagnole...where a year can change a lifetime.
L'Auberge Espagnole

Several lonely hearts in a semi-provincial suburb of a town in Denmark use a beginners course in Italian as the platform to meet the romance of their lives.
Italian for Beginners

Day 262

I wanted to go see Lemonade at the Brattle Theatre but it was sold out. Not that I haven't had more than my share of lemonade this past year. Instead I went to see a friend's band play. It was loud and crazy and I couldn't make out a word, but it was fun to see the super low-key quiet one at work let himself go. No one gave him any lemons but he makes lemonade all the time. 

I guess what I was reminded of tonight, was you don't have to wait until you're forced to do the things you love, to do the things you love. 

Day 261

For there is nothing either good or
bad, but thinking makes it so.

William Shakespeare

Day 260

Went to the library today to check out books on screenwriting. Afterward I overpaid for a gym membership.  It was time. 

Day 259

Trying to finish (or at least makes some type of progress) on projects I start. In the process I thought of a new project. A contraption that folds those g damn fitted sheets. I mean REALLY. 

Day 258

I am thankful that I'm not a turkey. And for tons more other stuff.

Day 257

Coming Soon: A Snuggie Thanksgiving

Day 256

I need sleep. And water.

Day 255

Taco night with these crazy cats.

 

 

Dessert with the dreamboat. (Not pictured.) Ay ay ay...

Day 254

I will live in NY one day. 

Day 253

Hopping on a bus to NY for the night. Drinks with some of my favorite people and a certain Italian from a certain vineyard in Tuscany await. 

Day 252

I think it's my destiny to run a bed & breakfast one day. I mean, it's not unlike my life right now. I have it down to a science. 9-5'd. Wine shop'd. Came home. Changed the sheets. Changed the towels. Washed the dishes. Went grocery shopping at 11pm and bought as much stuff as I could carry. Put away the groceries. Put up some Christmas lights.

Ready for my Thanksgiving guests on Monday. Ready to go to NY tomorrow first. 

Day 251

Working is for suckers.

Day 250

Playing in InDesign. Watching my Arrested Development DVDs. Again. Got my money's worth out of those FER SURE. 

Had a fantastic dinner with my old coworkers. Just like old times when we'd all pile into my office at lunch. Caught up with some other old coworkers via email earlier in the day. There are tons of good things that have come out of the career path I choose, even though, ultimately, it is not for me. And I really mean tons. But the people I have met are probably the greatest take away. I find people fascinating, I do. But the fact is, a lot of them just suck. In the ad industry, the ratio of suckage skyrockets. But I found the gems at every company I've worked for. The creme de la creme. And I can't imagine life without them.

Another reason why my dream job is to just try everyone else's. Besides just being curious about every career that is not my own, how many other people are out there at other companies that I would love??? How many future old coworkers am I missing out on if I stay in one place to long? I really do think about that all the time.

 

Day 249

Stir crazy. 

Day 248

Slow day at the office so I drafted a letter to a magazine today to pitch a photo project. Gotta jazz it up in InDesign. Also gotta completely rewrite it because it. did. not. save. 

Cool.

Day 247

Making a list. Checking it twice.

Day 246

I spent the first half of my day shopping for ingredients (and skirts) in the rain and the last half making fresh homemade pasta for the Frenchies + my elementary school friend and his swiss wife + some chick from Poland and some dude from Japan. It was like ESL class all over again. 

Keep. Em. Coming. 

Day 245

One good thing has come out of having to subscribe to every retailer e-mail on the planet for my new job.

Fredflare.com

Fun!

Day 244

I want it to NOT get dark at 4:56pm. 

And as I write "want", I have a flashback of standing at the front desk of my hotel in Paris, asking the front desk for directions. Him suggesting I go to Versailles. Me saying next time because there were too many things I wanted to see in Paris. Him mocking me: want want want, I want, I want, I want. In response I told him he is correct, I want a lot. I want it all. And I asked him, well don't you ever want anything? Lerch responds: Sometimes. And what is it that you want, when you want something? I asked. I want to meet God, he answered. Oy, you and everyone else. 

I don't know if that was one of those moments where I should have walked away a little changed, spending the rest of my time in Paris doing good deeds instead of wanting. Because that didn't happen. Not even close.

And I don't know that not wanting anything is better than wanting. Maybe it depends what you want. Either way, do I really say 'I want' that often? Because I don't want to. 

Day 243

My cubicle ain't the boss of me. I finished all my "real" work before noon and spent the rest of the day doing more important things. Like chatting online with hot babes. Reading the times. Writing copy for a project for the wine shop. Googling screenwriting classes (thanks for the tip D!). Checking out my old friend Blurb.com and getting pumped about making tons more stuff. Printing out my Paris pics and contemplating how to turn them into a photo story so I can convince some magazine to let me do a photo story for them, on their dime. Pretending I'm not the 17 billionth person to propose such a thing to a magazine. Trying to convince my brilliant friends to get crackin on the brilliant things I know they are capable of. For selfish reasons, really. I want to work for all of them one day. 

Day 242

This land was made for you and me.

Day 241

An ad agency in Detroit just announced they will close their doors in January. Which means 485 more people will be out of jobs. Like myself, many of my friends who used to be in the industry are treading water in some related field until their plan B or C or M or W comes to fruition. The ones still at an agency are hanging on by a thread. Either because the work/hours/morale are eating away at their soul OR their clients are about to dump them/drastically cut their fees. 

People are going to be forced to change and while I think it's a scary thing, I don't think it's a bad thing. 

Day 240

If the Flip Camera was invented when I was little, I think I could be giving Spike Jonze some MAJOR music video competition by now. He got lucky. I think I will have to stick to the home video market.

Day 239

Just saw New York, I love you. It made me want to work on my movie idea. I never wanted to write a movie ever. And now I really really do.

Day 238

Just spent all the money I made at the wine shop on some fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine wine. It's going to be a good weekend.

Day 237

Work. Work. Work. Dinner party! Two of my favorite words ever.

Day 236

I was forced to sign up for twitter today for work. Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwww. Ew times 10. I hate everything about it.

In other news I just saw Ray Lamontagne and while it wasn't in Paris, it was still fantastic. And dreamy.

Day 235

My business card should not say copywriter. It should say smiler and nodder. 

Day 234

Got to see one of my best friends in the whole world today before he moves to Abu Dhabi in a couple weeks to pursue a career in yacht design. For the record it took me about seven times to spell the word yacht correctly just now. He is my hero and if I'm a little bit fearless today, it's because of him. 

Five years ago, he was just a friend of a friend. After only knowing each other for a couple months, he called me on New Year's Eve and somehow convinced me drive to New York City. That day. From Michigan. Without a hotel. Without a plan. I don't even think we had a map. I said no of course, several times, but he wouldn't take no for an answer. Thank God. I threw some clothes in a bag and an hour later he picked me up. Eleven hours later we were parallel parking on some street in Manhattan and running towards Times Square. Ten minutes after the ball dropped we were ankle deep in confetti and on top of the world. We found a hotel in New Jersey just outside the city. We drove around a deserted hungover Manhattan early the next morning. Walked until we couldn't walk anymore. Drove home the next day. And life hasn't been the same since.

I used to plan e v e r y t h i n g. I thought you had to! I would concentrate on the reasons why I shouldn't do something instead of why I should. Not after that trip. That trip made me realized you gotta just go. Like all the time. Like whenever an opportunity comes. And you can't worry about what will go wrong. Because if it does go wrong, more than likely it can be made right. And I'm not just talking about trips, yo. 

Fadi changed my life. Today I got to tell him that. He just giggled, like he always does. 

He is one of those people that never ceases to amaze me and inspire me with his generosity and his electric spirit. After each visit, I always feel a burst of energy and optimism. We've gone on tons more trips together since that one. Had a thousand adventures, sometimes just over dinner, and have tons more in our arsenal. Tons.

Day 233

Holy Chaldeans. They were in full effect for the wedding today. Stay tuned for the music video.

Day 232

Grandma still passes out full-size candy bars at Halloween. No recession here. I love grandma's house. And the triplets. And photobooth application.

 
 

Day 231

I dressed up for Halloween at work today. Everyone was doing it! (Not going to lie, it was fun.) Hot messes of '09 was our department's theme. I was Paula Abdul on Perkaset and slurred speech. Met some more people at the office. There are so many people I don't hate there! It's crazy. 

Day 230

I'm being so social these days I barely recognize myself. My circle is expanding, slowly but surely. And I don't hate it either. I even helped blow up balloons today for the Halloween office party. I think they think I'm a (gasp) team player. Could be worse. 

Day 229

My head is full of stuff I do not understand.

Day 228

Tacos and foreigners for dinner. Yum.

Nice way to follow up a company-wide meeting with our 30-something, headset clad CEO to inform us that he sold the company he started (and I just joined) at 21 for $350 million to some even bigger mega e-commerce retail company. And that things "weren't going to change". 

Oh Corporate America, you so crazy!

Day 227

Went to see Federico Aubele open up for Thievery Corporation. WOW.

Day 226

I want to see Where The Wild Things Are Again.

Carol: It's going to be a place where only the things you want to happen, would happen.
Max: We could totally build a place like that!

Day 225

Rainy day. Good company. Homemade pasta. Where The Wild Things Are. Tons of wind. Tons more rain. The Christmas tree bar. Martinis. Conversation. Sleepover!

     

                                          

Day 224

I like today. A lot. I left work an hour early after chatting online and reading nyt.com all day. Then I went to work at the wine shop stopping at the Salumeria to pick up semolina flour so I can make fresh pasta tomorrow. Fresh pasta that I learned how to make in Chianti last month. Came home with two new bottles of wine. One, an orange wine, a cutting edge new style of wine that's really just an old style enjoying a comeback. A white wine made in the style of a red. It's weird. But good! It started to sprinkle just as I was walking home, down my tree-lined street in to my Cosby Show-esque apartment. And I just felt really satisfied. 

About 5 years ago, I was watching a special about Boston on the travel channel, specifically the North End. I remember thinking how charming it looked and hoped that one day I'd escape the suburbs of Detroit and live in a little Italian neighborhood with little markets and cafes and I'd know people names. And they'd know mine. 

I have the life I've always wanted. Of course 5 years later, I have new dreams and am curious about new places and careers etc etc. But right isn't so bad. Not at all. 

 

Day 223

An oasis of horror in a desert of boredom. I've been there before. This morning actually.

("W" Magazine)

Day 222

Sometimes I'm so busy thinking my job is stoopid that I forget how much it doesn't suck. Had some free-time at work today so I was able to finish re-writing a friend's resume. He is a financial auditor. DO YOU KNOW WHAT AUDITORS HAVE TO DO??? I got both bored and confused just reading his resume. Holy color coded excel documents and pie charts. Not cool. 

Today I'm thankful I am not an auditor. 

Day 221

A light at the end of the tunnel. Today, in the tunnel, I smile and nodded a lot. And reminded myself that none of it really mattered, so just do what they say. Talk in a phone voice to upper-management when necessary. Pretend to share their enthusiasm. Agree (lie) that you will help with Halloween decorations. Gchat to pass the time. Roll my eyes every now and then. Bite my tongue. Leave at 4:59:59. 

Day 220

Can't stop making music videos.

Day 219

Dear Brian, 

If these fools can do it, SO CAN WE.

Herbs & Spices,

Stephanie

Day 218

Working on wine shop stuff. Watching movies. Eating PB+J. Forcing myself to continue to write on this thing every day even though I have a job(s) and even if I have nothing remotely interesting to report. Because it makes me think about my job sitch. And reminds me not to get comfortable. I don't like being comfortable. I like being excited. Which means I need to find ways to escape 9-5 before it sucks the momentum from me. 

Day 217

We are all going to die. 

Simon, thanks for the heads up. Another fantastic project from one of my favorite photographers. 

Day 216

Somebody at the wine shop asked me what I do for a living besides the wine shop. I do not like this question. 

Day 215

I'm not going to get sick. I'm not going to get sick. I'm not going to get sick. I'm not going to get sick. I'm not going to get sick. I'm not going to get sick. I'm not going to get sick. I'm not going to get sick. I'm not going to get sick. I'm not going to get sick. I'm not going to get sick. I'm not going to get sick. I'm not going to get sick. I'm not going to get sick. I'm not going to get sick. I'm not going to get sick. I'm not going to get sick. I'm not going to get sick. I'm not going to get sick. I'm not going to get sick. I'm not going to get sick. I'm not going to get sick. I'm not going to get sick. I'm not going to get sick. I'm not going to get sick. I'm not going to get sick. I'm not going to get sick. I'm not going to get sick. I'm not going to get sick. I'm not going to get sick. I'm not going to get sick. I'm not going to get sick. I'm not going to get sick. I'm not going to get sick. I'm not going to get sick. I'm not going to get sick. I'm not going to get sick. I'm not going to get sick. I'm not going to get sick. I'm not going to get sick. I'm not going to get sick. I'm not going to get sick. I'm not going to get sick. I'm not going to get sick. I'm not going to get sick. I'm not going to get sick. I'm not going to get sick. I'm not going to get sick. I'm not going to get sick. I'm not going to get sick. I'm not going to get sick. I'm not going to get sick. I'm not going to get sick. I'm not going to get sick. 

Day 214

Exactly 7 months later, and after putting it off for as long as possible, I'm officially employed. I have a "real" job again. But if loving having 2 or 3 or 6 unrelated jobs instead of one is wrong, I don't wanna be right. Variety really is the spice of life. For me at least. So the "real" job is temporary. 

I promise. 

Day 213

SCORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Surprised my mom with a day trip to New York City.

She is the only person on earth I would ride a double decker tour bus for. She told me she had the best time of her whole life.

Day 212

The Julies breakfasting.

The Julies posing on Commonwealth Avenue.

The Julies takin' the Orange Line.

The Julies munching.

The Julies stoopin'. 

Double the Julie. Double the fun.

Day 211

The Julies are here! The Julies are here! I've been shopping and cooking ALL day. My mom's turn to Vivir Bien. And my last weekend of technical unemployment. The best job title I've ever had. 

Day 210

Bartending school. Check!

Passed my written AND drink drill. I'm ready to judge bartenders on things other than their shitty personalities. And order things like sidecars and grand golden margaritas. And moonlight at some swanky hotel bar that caters to olive-skinned international travelers (and EXTRA awesome renegade whities like Jen + Brandon, bien sur). 

Topped off my Friday with a tasting at the wineshop. Took some footage for the upcoming music videos I will make for the wine shop's web site. I can't stop. Although iMovie will be the death of me. 

Day 209

Being a producaaaa is my new favorite job. And Facebook and YouTube are cramping my style BIG TIME. Got a notice from Facebook this AM informing me that they deleted the video I made of my friend's wedding because the song was a copyright infringement. A video YouTube wouldn't even let me upload for the same reason. That is total horseshit as my Uncle Charlie would say. What's next? Am I not going to be allowed to play the songs in my own apartment in case my neighbors can hear it without penalty! Fuck. It's a HOME MOVIE for crying outloud. My memories require fresh lyrics and sweet beats and low maintenance mass distribution. End of story. 

Day 208

10 counts vodka
2 counts olive juice
Stir
Pour
Garnish

Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat.

Day 207

Thank God for movies.

Day 206

Things I learned at bartending school today:

To 'Flag a drink' means to garnish with a cherry AND orange.

Fizz means 7-up.

Fuzz means peach.

Pres means ginger ale and soda.

SoCo is not a whisky, it's a liqueur.

Rum was spread by pirates.

Light liquors love lime

Anything with ice gets a straw

Always grab bottles by the neck.

Never touch glasses 'above the equator'.

I want to go to Ireland really bad. Like now.

Day 205

Since I'm about to come out of early retirement, I've been trying not to exert myself by you know, putting on clothes or something stoopid like that. But I needed toilet paper. So I had to miss the last half of When Harry Met Sally (good thing it's on again at 9!) to run to the market. 

The guy in front of me must have been an early retiree also. Only a giant bottle of Jack Daniels and peanut M&Ms for him. Maybe he has yet to discover how much retirement RULES. Or maybe he wasn't laid off at all and he is just an alchy with sweet tooth. 

Day 204

Flip Camera, have I told you lately that I love you?

Day 203

Unpacking and finding incomprehensible notes, tiny pieces of papers with email addresses and tons of business cards. Including one from the Kiwi Farmers!

Of my favorite people we met on the trip are the organic kiwi farmers from New Zealand. They used to be teachers. Then it stopped being fun and they got tired of dealing with all the BS. So they quit and bought a kiwi farm. Did they know how farm kiwis? No. Did they know how to farm anything? No. Did they know about pollination/harvesting/farming organically? No, no and no. They asked a lot of questions and made a few mistakes here and there and figured it out. They do everything together and they get a kick out of it. And they bounce around Europe on their down time.

What.

Oh and they told us about some program called something I don't remember where you go live on a kiwi (or whatever) farm for a couple days, pick for 4 hours in exchange for room and board, then just hang out and sightseeeee. Hmmmmmmmm....

Just kidding. Maybe.

Day 202

One word. DETOX.

While browsing Trader Joes for things with no sodium or preservatives or taste, I talked on the phone. Loudly. I can't help it, my voice carries. On my way to the check out, an older employee stopped me (at first I thought to cuss me out for being super annoying) because he heard me mention Barcelona. He told me he was leaving for Spain tonight and got so excited when he heard me mention it. He and his wife are taking off for 3 weeks and renting a house in some city in the north of Spain. Last year the rented a villa south of Florence. The year before that they rented a place in Burgundy. Wait, it gets better.

He said this trip was kind of fluke, planned last minute. About 9 months ago, they were in Venice and he was so inspired, he started painting. So he booked the Spain trip because he just wanted to paint again.

It gets mo' better. On December 5th, he's already arranged for an exhibition of his paintings at a cafe in the South End.

He had never touched a paint brush before his trip to Venice. He. Works. At. Trader. Joe's.

HOW COOL!

Day 201

Home sweet home. Sweata weatha.

Day 200

One step closer to picking grapes on a rolling hillside under the Tuscan sun.

From Niccolo:

Hey bellissima!

I'd love to organize a rendez vous! We can do in NY or maybe Detroit since I haven't been...Otherwise you two can always come with me in one of my next trips to california and Vegas... Now you know enough of Testamata that you can do the presentations with me!

Let's plan it! When does it work for you?

N

Day 199

Every winter, the Chaldeans take turns going to each other's betha (house) to make tons and tons of eekhala (food) to store in the freezer and eat during the winter. 

They made kibbie. I made pictures. 

Day 198

Maid-of-honoring!

We've come a long way since Brody Hall circa year 2000. Dark lipstick, out. Dark advertising industry-tainted souls IN. For now. But nothing marriage and unemployment can't cure.

Day 197

I cooked the Chaldeans a big fat Italian feast tonight with ingredients strait up from the market in Firenze. Cherry tomato, crushed red pepper and sausage pasta, porchini mushroom risotto, spinach and pomodoro noodles with a light herb cream sauce, toasted crusty bread with black truffle spread, sliced salami, sundried cherry tomatoes, and chicken (nugget) parm for the kids.

Because I can't bring myself to buy any more t-shirts and key chains and mini monument statues from the places I visit. I prefer souvenirs of the edible variety. 

Day 196 P.S.

My little Parisians. 

Day 196

Back to reality. O! There goes gravity.

Laundry at 7am

Dentist at 9am

Bank at 9:30am

Pharmacy at 9:45am

Unpack from 3 weeks of European adventure

Pack for 1 MORE week of adventure in the city formerly known as the Paris of America. 

Next flight leaves in T minus 4 hours. 

Go. Go. Go. Go.

Day 195

Woke up in Madrid on the vacation that just won't quit. I don't know my holas from my bon gournos from my bonjours anymore. Or my por favors from my sil vous plaits. I think that means it's time to go home. I'm down to my last toothpaste. My last euro. My last underwear. And probably my last artery. 

My head is spinning. Was I really dancing on top of Tuscany a couple weeks ago? Ziplining through the Alps, playing cards with Russians, skinny dipping in the Mediterranean with two of my best friends, slamming whisky with Spaniards, and dangling my feet over the Seine? 

Hell yes. And I'll do it again. (Once I replenish my devastated bank account.)

But right now, all I want to do is walk up my little stoop, up to my little bed, in my little apartment on my little brick-paved, tree-lined street. God bless America. With it's predicable toilets and resistible pastries. 

VIVIR BIEN

Day 194

So many ways to flush a toilet, so little time.

There are a thousand things I could have done today. Musee d'Orsay, Musee Carnavalet, the Catacombs, etc etc etc. But all I really wanted to do was spend my last afternoon in Paris as I had spent the first five. Wandering. So I did. I revisited all my favorites. There was an almond croissant at the Jewish Bakery on Rue des Rosiers, another walk along the Seine via Pont Louis Phillip, another look at Chez Julien, more ice cream on the Ile Saint Louis (I mean, why stop now?)...

...and my last meal in Paris? French onion soup. Slimy. Salty. Cheesy. Not how I wanted to remember the French. So I went hunting for one last macaroon before my flight to Madrid (and 16 hour layover...oops).

I can't imagine a better way to end three of the most invigorating weeks of my life. There's nothing I can say about this city that hasn't already been said but I can say I now know why everyone falls in love with it. Even though we've just met and even though I've only scratched the surface. It is intoxicating. I already can't wait to return. 

Day 193

The Luxembourg Gardens were just that. Lux. Well manicured. Colorful. Flowery. Quite perfect (read: boring). I didn't stay long. I prefer sitting by the Seine. Where there's people and water and the perfect amount of dirty. 

Came back to the hotel for a conference call with the place I have been freelancing with. The price was right. So as of October 13, I will officially join the rest of the robots. Not gonna lie, I'm pretty pumped about health insurance and 401K and unlimited free lemon Snapple. And even more excited to start saving for my great escape. Just as long as 300 other things fall into place like visas and jobs and housing and deciding where I want to live. I thought this trip would help me decide which country or city to live, but it has only made me more confused. 

In a perfect world, I would live in Paris with Italian people who speak Spanish. And I'd have a tomato garden on my rooftop and moonlight at the Jewish Bakery down the street when I'm not slinging English lessons. 

 

Day 192

Tourist time. 

I probably walked the entire perimeter of Monmartre Cemetary without seeing a single tombstone. Hell if I couldn't find the damn thing and after an hour going in circles, I didn't want to anymore anyway. I was hot and tired and I had to pee like a muther. I went left like the sign said. Then what, sign??? You left me hanging! After walking down 4 blocks of XXX shops and peep shows and everything! You and your damn arrows. Lies. All lies.

Luckily the Louvre and Champs Elysees were where they said they were. And...wow. I've seen a thousand pictures of the Louvre but like the Eiffel Tower (and Venice, and The David, the Trevi Fountain,  Sistine Chapel and New York City in a taxi from JFK at night) nothing can prepare you or compare to the moment you see it with your own eyes, and no picture you take can fully reflect the magic of these places.

I tried anyway. 

And like the Eiffel Tower and the David, etc etc etc, just when you think you've captured every possible angle, you walk away 10 feet and it's like this whole new thing. Requiring you to stop in your tracks as if you're seeing it for the first time. Requiring a new round of pictures, too, because now trees have entered the scene or the lighting is different here and the Thing is brand new without ever changing.

I sat there today on the fountain at the Louvre (eating a macaroon filled with fresh whole raspberries) looking at all these people with their maps and cameras and guidebooks and money belts. Art has this amazing way of bringing people of all ages and colors and religions and continents together. I know there are much deeper levels on which you can and should appreciate a painting and a sculpture. But mostly, I just dig it's power to bring people together. We're all here to see something amazing. And we all did. 

As for dinner, I found myself in my favorite part of the city (and my home base for the last week), Le Marais. On my favorite cobblestoned street, rue de Rosiers, in the heart of the Jewish neighborhood. Never have I seen more yamakas or falafel joints in my life and never have I been so delighted. I ate at Chez Marianne and it might be the best meal I've had yet (if you don't count the macaroon at the Louvre or my plate at the Marche du Enfants Rouge). The kefka, hummus and olives were perfect but it was the atmosphere that I will remember. I will be back. 

Day 191

To the market

To the market

To take pictures of people buying a fat pig

People still do this. In some corners of the world, there are people who wake up early on weekends and go to the market and the fromagerie and the patisserie and the marche du flours. And I went looking for them today. Because I love them. 

I haven't been to the Louvre, the Champs Elysee, Versailles or the Musee d'Orsay but I've been to just about every market this side of the Seine, in search of the market I saw in the movie Two Days In Paris. I didn't find The market. I didn't get the pictures I wanted. I did get lost. A lot. I did in 7 hours what should have taken 1.5. It was a miracle I made it back to my hotel. I walked in and the hotel clerk (the black Lerche) shook his head and mumbled "should've gone to Versailles like I told you...". I know, Lerche, I KNOW! 

A couple hours later I was showered, with Nutella crepe in hand, with my feet dangling over the Seine. Thinking this can't be real. Watched the sun set. Watched the lights flicker on underneath the bridges. Watched people watch other people. Wishing I had my people next to me, some booze and some cloves. Next time...

I love Paris. But who doesn't.

Day 190

NOT at the Ray Lamontagne concert tonight in Paris. But I am in Paris, so I'll try not to let that bother me (even though it is really really SUPER hard not to).

I started my day as I would start every day if it were up to me. At a market. And in particular, Marche des Enfants Rouges, the oldest covered market it Paris. Is it bad that this was almost more exciting than Notre Dame or the Eiffel Tower (which to me is much more enchanting when you see it peaking over rooftops or trees than in full body shot view). Two hours, a hundred pictures and some food from My People later, I was wandering around Le Marais looking for a Picasso Museum that had been closed for 2 years for restoration. Ooops. But by happenstance, came across rue de Rosiers, the heart of the Jewish neighborhood. I went into a real Jewish bakery, heard an amazing men's choir through the windows of a synagogue, and bought a couple vintage dresses from some super adorable old man in a resale shop--ones that I was only able to try on once I got back to my hotel and ones that subsequently will never see the light of day. On me at least. 

Tonight I headed across the Seine to the the Ile St. Loise for salted caramel ice cream (yeah you heard me) and a cheese plate at some brasserie on the water. Because I couldn't understand anything else on the menu. Crossed back over the bridge to find a wine AND cheese festival along the banks of the river. How did I not see or hear this before! I could have been eating my cheese with my feet hanging over the Seine. C'est le vie. Maybe tomorrow.

Also by happenstance, on my way back to my hotel, after meandering through hoards of teenagers swigging champagne along the Seine, I found the restaurant I feel in love with in the New York Times article a while back. It made me melt when I saw the picture. It made me melt when I stood in front of it, taking my own. I can't wait to come back here for dinner next time I'm in Paris. It's kind of place you want to share with someone. 

Day 189 Part Deux

This is my third holiday in Europe but only my first trip to Paris. I was saving Paris. For when I was in love and blah blah blah. Silly I know but that's how I imagined experiencing it. And here I am. Not in love in the traditional sense but kind of in love with life. I am somewhere a little too beautiful to be true when life feels a little to good to be true. When every idea I get in my head materializes. And things keeping falling into place, granted at their own pace not mine. 

I know life will suck again at some point. It has to. That's it's job. But I think I've learned how to make it good again when it does. Less thinking, more doing. And remembering that when one day or week or year sucks, there's always another day. And the next day could rule. And everything can change. 

I heard this song today. Coincidence? Couldn't have said it better, Jack. 

Who's to say
What's impossible
Well they forgot
This world keeps spinning
And with each new day
I can feel a change in everything
And as my mind begins to spread its wings
There's no stoppin' curiosity

I wanna turn the whole thing upside down
I'll find the things they say just can't be found
I'll share this love I find with everyone
We'll sing and dance to Mother Nature's song
I don't want this feeling to go away

Who's to say
I can't do everything
Well I can try

Day 189

Holy cow. I'm in love.

Day 188

It rained again but I had to see the old Madrid one more time. Before I took off for Paris. I got soaked and had to wear wet shoes for my flight. And was worth it. 

And whoever invented this combination should be shot. Or made a saint. I can't decide.